we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
