She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
