I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
