ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He shit in the fireplace
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
