I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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