Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
