i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
