Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
