If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just want to make out with him forever
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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