We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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