I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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