My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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