Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
