I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
