you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
