My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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