I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
