I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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