i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
