a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
