Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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