Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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