i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
