You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
