Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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