it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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