Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Boobs are out for the taking
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
