This is not my ceiling
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
