my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize