Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
