ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
