Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize