if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
