I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
