hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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