Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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