Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
