All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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