i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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