Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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