My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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