One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
