Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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