my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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