just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
