The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
