im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
