I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
