Pants 0. Shit 1.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
