dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
