You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
