make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize