I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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