I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
