Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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