capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need to align my fucking chakras
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
