You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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