How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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