So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
